Inner balance: how to reach it


Inner balance is always treated as a point of arrival in life. But is it really so? What is the balance within us that makes us live peacefully and what is hidden beyond our peace? These are the topics that we will discuss in this article and that I hope will help you in your personal journey, already today.

Where should I look to find my inner balance?

It sounds like a stupid question, but it is certainly the first one that should be asked. Before even wondering why we don’t have it, we need to understand if we are looking in the right direction. The odds are not that great.

Even the answer may seem obvious, stupid or all too trivial. But the answer to that question is: first inside.

I know, it seems obvious (like most solutions to existential problems, on the other hand), but what is obvious is often overlooked. It is too often thought that all complex problems must necessarily have complex solutions. But inner balance is not a complex problem: it becomes complex when we don’t know where to observe.

The most common mistake: the “outside” peace

Let’s face it: how many people do you know who have never left a relationship or who continue to move from one relationship to another, without ever being alone? And how many do you know who work 50 hours a week and never seem to rest? How many more who light one cigarette after another or, as soon as they can, begin to drink and end three or four hours later in doubtful conditions?

If there is a constant, it is that all these subjects seem concerned about being alone with themselves.

Of course, if you ask them why they do what they do, the standard answers are always ready:

I can’t stop now!
But I like smoking, it relaxes me.
It was a special meeting
And so on. These are just three random examples of people seeking “tranquility” or a little peace within things or people other than themselves. As you may have seen, they find themselves chasing an object of external attention which, when missing, immediately causes reactions of irritation or anxiety. It is inevitable, when you choose to look for something in the wrong place: it is never found.

The main road: facing the inner abyss
“If we want to build peace in the world, let’s build it first inside each of us.”

Dalai Lama.

The inner balance is formed by several factors, all concomitant to the final result: impermeability to life’s misadventures. The primary way to find it, or better yet, build it, is to look inside.

In order to do this, there are some essential unavoidable conditions:


It starts from here. The nice thing is that life, one day or another, still forces everyone to face their abyss. It doesn’t matter how unmotivated this idea makes you feel, because in any case you have to go from here. Might as well therefore do it with the situation under control, consciously and not when you are forced and most likely unprepared.

It doesn’t have to be difficult.

The inner balance is an interaction of different forces and factors that contribute to a unified final result.

Specifically, we are separated from the rest of the universe only by the conformation of our atoms, which make us “the body” that we see in the mirror and feel if we have a sense of touch in working order. That body is our means of transportation for as long as it resists in life.

Of course, it cannot be excluded from the work on inner balance, precisely because inner means in a not very figurative sense, within its borders.

We will therefore have to take care, in no particular order, but without exclusions, of four main factors:

Body balance
Mind control
Spiritual peace

It seems strange to insert social connections after having almost demonized them two paragraphs ago, the reality is that those were not connections, but emotional dependencies. By connections, in this case, I mean social relationships that are entirely part of who we are.

So let’s see these pieces one by one.

Inner body balance

The analogy of the body like a car has always seemed very effective. If your car is petrol and you fill it with grapefruit juice, sand and mud, what do you think will be the result? It will probably not only not move, but it will be damaged and will not last long. Besides not being able to do what it was designed for.

The body, willingly or unwillingly, is the means of transport of our brain, which gives life to our mind and our conscious being. Without body, no brain and complexity of connections, therefore no “me”.

For this and for no other reason, I put body balance in first position. Because everything else also depends on this and is, said out of the teeth, the easiest balance to devote yourself to. How to get the most out of the body we have?

Let’s get to know him: we try to observe every little detail, reaction, every time we remember it and study it as if it were external to us. It will help us establish our starting point.
Let’s train it: having a body that is healthy first and then strong are basic requirements for it to be able to respond and keep you functioning and alert in all types of situations. The more you have a trained body, the greater your freedom of choice.

Let’s respect it: as said before, to function well, our body needs to be built well. It will be essential to know how a healthy diet is made, follow it religiously and eliminate any habit that will affect its results. Body management is a path for the long term, not focused on today.

Inner mental balance

Mind and body influence each other, this is an established fact. Working on the body, therefore, will also make you proceed in work on the mind, at least in part. In any case, having taken control of the wrapping in hand, we must tidy up our thoughts.

Our mind is a generator of random thoughts, based on an infinity of data. The success of one thought rather than another then needs our permission. If my mind keeps repeating “I am incapable” and I listen to that thought, the brain will register that it works and propose it again.

In short, our inner dialogue will be so unsuccessful that it will influence the body to confirm this idea, making us physically incapable of everything.

It will also be simplified, but I challenge you to show me that it is not so. If you want to be ready for a real change, you have to tidy up your thoughts.

Tidying up your thoughts means:

– Observe your mind without intervening for a few weeks
– Eradicate unnecessary thoughts by stopping following them systematically
– Rebuilding our thoughts, reinforcing them on the basis of a clear goal
– Working with daily meditation on the length and depth of our attention
– Inner spiritual balance
– Spirituality is not religion. It is an awareness that there is a higher and greater order than we are.

Throwing it into basic physics: you, like me, are an agglomeration of atoms immersed in the rest of the atoms and space.

That rest is the largest order.

Within this rest you can and probably should find a story that tells it according to your idea and that makes you more smiling with each passing day, without necessarily bothering men with beards or meditating fat men.

We are not able to know everything and probably never will be, and that’s okay. We already build our sense of things today, with our inner narrative. Including ourselves with respect in a larger system that we cannot control helps us to redefine all the proportions of our lives, for better or for worse.

By searching for our true dimension, we will be able to look at reality with much more balance and tranquility, even in the face of real misfortunes. That at that point will be only points in spacetime, or events of a story that we will end (maybe) on the day we die.

The connections

We come to the last point necessary to undertake this path. It will also be the last in a temporal sense. The quality and sense of true connections will only come after taking the first three steps on this path. Because? Because we are going to strip all the fake armor and masks that separate us from our most realistic identity. This will allow us to exist differently,

going to influence people other than those we have in our lives today.

This will happen naturally, but will complete the path. That part of the path that, due to material impossibility, we cannot do alone.

The relationship with the outside (with other agglomerations) allows us to awaken, clean up and react points of us that we cannot reach independently and the best way for this to work is that the direction is already taken.

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